Mon Coeur Saignements

A vessel for my bleeding heart

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I just don’t understand why over-processed portraits that make the person look like plastic are so popular and considered sooooo beautiful. Maybe it’s just me, but I prefer real beauty over photoshop beauty…blemishes, wrinkles and all. After all, isn’t it our imperfections that are supposed to make us beautiful?

#campaignforrealbeauty

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I’d need 100 bajillion dollars to get my business, marketing, website, outsourcing and equipment to a place where I can actually have it all work for me. 

I don’t have  100 bajillion dollars and probably never will.

The trick is working with what I’ve got and not let what I’m lacking get me down.

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TV makes me feel bad that I can’t buy more, bigger and better holiday gifts for my family. Then I remember what Christmas is really about, turn off the TV and call my mom to say I Love You.

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While working on one client’s photos I feel guilty about not working on another client’s photos. When I’m finally working on that client’s photos I feel guilty for not working on my own blogs or websites. When I’m working in my office for 10+ hours a day I feel guilty about not spending time with my family and/or sweeping up the dust bunnies and spider webs that have accumulated in all corners of my apartment. When I finally DO clean/sit down with my family I feel guilty for not working.

Vicious cycle.

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Feeling self-conscious and introverted due to stress about work, branding, money (or lack thereof) and my place in the world. I don’t know whether to scream, stomp my feet and pound my fists or take a deep breath and tell myself it could be much worse. Maybe a little bit of both…

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Feeling guilty about my limited posting/working over Thanksgiving, but I’m old school. This is family time. Work will always be there, family will not so I’m going to enjoy them while I still can. #nottakingfamilyforgranted 

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I get so nervous about calling people on the phone whether they are friends, clients, bosses or strangers. Maybe it’s my loathing for awkward pauses, maybe it’s because as soon as they say “hello” all the things I practiced saying go out the window and I’m left stuttering incoherently. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t like the phone. It’s like the ugly middle child between impersonal-email and super-personal-face-time. You had your day in the sun, phone but it’s time we made you obsolete with email, texting and video-chatting. Goooo technology!